[Parody] How to master the art of Number Farming in SWTOR

Number Farming is an often criticised and misunderstood playstyle in Star War The Old Republic. So I’m here to set the record straight. It truly is an art form unto itself. A simplistic, wholesome way to PvP for true masters of the game we love to whine about, SWTOR.

You’re probably here cause you’re familiar with the concept of number farming, sure. But now you want to master it as an art form. Well, let me tell you how. But first, for those of you who aren’t familiar with this term, let’s define it real quick. 

What is a number farmer?

A number farmer is a DPS or healer who focuses solely on getting high numbers on the scoreboard in instanced PvP and ignores everything else.

Now, you’re probably thinking it can’t be that complicated right? You’d be surprised. There’s more to it than you think. 

Here is my masterclass on number farming.

Step 1 – Ignore Objectives

Even if you’ve killed the enemy team, don’t click on the shiny blue thing, go and find the enemy team and kill them again. Clicking blue shiny things is inconsequential and won’t increase your numbers on the scoreboard. 

Step 2 – Get Good

No for real. You need to know the in’s and out’s of your class (Combat Style) to maximise your DPS or healing output. Start by reading your passives then maybe get some second opinions from Guides (Biggs’ has guides for all classes on YouTube).

Step 3 – Don’t care if you Win or Lose

To truly be a number farmer you can not care if you win or lose. That’s not important at all. All that matters is getting big numbers on the scoreboard.

Okay but real talk. I’ve found that I have a lot more fun in PvP by not caring if I win or lose especially if I’m queuing on my own. I have no control over how good or bad my team or the enemy team is. So I go with the flow of the team. I mean being a healer main affords me this luxury. But still, food for thought?

Step 4 – That Premade Lifestyle

Number farming isn’t just about skill, it’s a lifestyle. Embrace the chaos. Be uniquely you. Find others like you and PvP with them. Together unleash the chaos and spread the epeen. Only together can you get the biggest numbers.

And with 8-man premades being a thing now, there is plenty of fun to be had.  

Step 5 – Ignore all Opposition

You will inevitably come across do-gooders, naysayers, and miscreants who will get mad at you for embracing your identity. They’ll say you’re dumb, purposely trying to lose or just plain old toxic. Some will even scream and rage at you. But in reality, you’re just minding your own business playing how you want. After is that what SWTOR is all about? Playing your own way?

Advanced Tactic – How to optimise your Number Farming

This is a bit more applicable to premades. But eh.

Spread the damage out. Never focus on one person down and then move to the next. You have to keep switching targets, cleave as much as you can and most importantly, keep the enemy healer/s alive. If you wipe out the enemy team there will be downtime which means you will not see numbers floating on your screen and your DPS will go down. Therefore you need to ensure the enemy team stays alive to do as much DPS as possible.

And I’m not just saying all this because I get focus-fired all the time as a healer and would occasionally like a break. I just think it makes perfect sense numbers wise!

Sadly, this won’t always work especially if you’re up against a bad team. It only works when two reasonably evenly skilled teams are up against each other. Or when each team has multiple healers. But no harm in being prepared.

Go Forth and Conquer

Now that’s about it really. Thank you for coming to my Masterclass, I’ll see you around, maybe…

Disclaimer: This is a parody article. I wrote this for a laugh. Please treat it as such.

1 thought on “[Parody] How to master the art of Number Farming in SWTOR”

  1. Step Six.

    Don’t forget to screenshot the defeat scoreboard that’s only up for some seconds and will disappear forever that no one read and left as fast as possible to catch the next queue to finish their weeklies.

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